"What's Sex?"
KIDS ages 6-11. Have you ever wondered how babies are made? How does your mom's sperm get into your mom's egg? Well it's time to find out!
Dear Parent, Congratulations- you're about to explain what sex is to your child! One of God's most beautiful creations. Take a moment to prepare yourself before sitting down together with your child. Pre-read the lesson as today’s topic is a big, important one; pray; and reflect on the outcomes you wish to achieve. We know having “the talk” the “birds and the bees” discussion with your child may make you nervous and that’s why School of Love is here for you! While today’s conversation will help you explain sex to your child, it’s truly just one of many conversations you should share together on this topic throughout your life. This is here to support and encourage your bond as a parent and child. We hope this will make it a little less awkward and even make it a beautiful memorable experience for you together. After all it’s God’s most beautiful design for His Creation. You’ve got this! **Make sure to check out all the awesome links and resources at the bottom of the lesson!
This lesson is primarily developed for kids ages 6-11. However, every child develops at different rates, so please feel free to use the lesson that best fits your child's needs!
Find Additional Relevant Lessons HERE
PURPOSE
“Where do babies come from?” We will share openly together about the meaning of “two shall become one flesh”. We will learn that a new life is created when a husband and wife come together in true love. Children will start to understand their own bodies more and the holiness and purpose of their private parts.
MATERIALS
A cozy spot to share together
This lesson
A Puzzle
Journal & drawing utensils
INSPIRATION
“The two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
-Mark 10:8
The Creator divided all things into masculine and feminine so that they could unite and multiply through the giving and receiving of love. God created everything with a reciprocal partner so that all levels of creation would experience joy and love. Through the action of love, each species multiplies and extends its lineage. The concept of love was first in God's mind and only afterwards did He create man and woman. Man and woman could only find true love through each other.
- Sun Myung Moon
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
-Genesis 2:24
ATTENTION GRABBER
Make a puzzle together! To make it more fun- feel free to time yourselves. ;)
Notice how the puzzle pieces fit together perfectly? This is like God’s plan for your life! God has a beautiful exciting plan for you and your body and your soul and your heart. And over time, the different pieces will come together to make you whole. Just like God brought our family together through bringing mom and dad together.
INTRODUCTION
Pick up 4 puzzle pieces. Give 2 to your child and use 2 on your own:
Make it stand ou
More specifically, do you notice how two puzzle pieces fit together perfectly? Does that remind you of anything else? It reminds me of a husband and a wife! God joins them together to fit perfectly together in marriage. (Like your mom and dad!) That’s what we’ll be talking about today. It’s a beautiful and important topic. I look forward to having this conversation with you today.
Let’s watch this video together it’s called The Sperm & Egg- A Hero's Journey
*LEARNING MOMENT- READ TOGETHER:
So who was the hero in the video? You, that's right! Because you are a miracle. You were created in a split second! When your parents came together in love their sperm and egg created you! “You are one in three million that made it to the egg!” Isn’t that incredible?
Any other thoughts on this? How are you feeling?
** If you’re ready to stop here you can- and jump down to discussion. (And use the remaining learning moment below for another conversation when you’re both ready to dive deeper in conversation in the near future!)
** If you’re ready to go further:
I want to share some scriptures with you. In them God is talking about the time when a man and woman come together in marriage:
“the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
-Mark 10:8
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
-Genesis 2:24
So what does “one flesh” mean? Well that’s what we’re going to share together about today. You may have already heard about this somewhere or it may be your first time.
If you feel awkward or uncomfortable that’s totally ok! It’s not something we often talk about. But how human life is created is actually a beautiful thing- a part of God’s plan for your life- in your future marriage. So this is a very special conversation we’re having today. Are you ready? Let’s get to it.
What do you think “one flesh” means? Usually you think 1+1 = ? (that’s right 2!) However today we’re talking about how 1 + 1 = a new 1. It means that God created a husband and wife to come together as two bodies and connect in a special way that makes them one and united- like a puzzle piece. How do you think that may be possible?
Hold up your two puzzle pieces. (take a deep breath- you’ve got this parent!) Well, as you know God created us male and female. And today you’re learning that He created us male and female so that one day we can fit perfectly together in love. You see this? (show the convex sticking out part of the puzzle piece) This is what boys have- their penis. You see this? (show the concave inward part of the puzzle piece) This is what girls have, their vagina. It’s the one very clear difference in how God designed boys and girls. You’ve probably heard that these areas on our bodies are private and special. Today you will find out why.
Have you wondered how dad’s sperm got to mom’s egg? Well actually it was through the penis connecting with the vagina. That is why we refer to our private parts as holy like a treasure- because they can create new life- a baby! When the penis goes into the vagina it releases lots of tiny little sperm like you saw the video and they swim to mom’s egg- creating a baby! Therefore, your private parts are very special- you want to keep them safe and protected until you are married and ready for that kind of love experience. (Of course as a kid- you’re not ready! It probably seems gross or weird to you! This is natural and ok. As you get older and go through puberty and get closer to being ready for marriage, you will desire and understand sex more.)
When a husband and wife come together in one flesh this can be called “making love” or “starting family” or “having sex”. We also call our private parts “sexual organs” for this reason. The word “sex” as a noun describes our gender. “Male” for boys and “Female” for girls. But as an action word it describes the act of making love. Does that all make sense? We like to say that when God brought your mom and dad together in love = you came about! You were created in love and born in love! Isn’t that cool?
Well, phew we did it! That was a lot of information to take in. Wow. You just learned that! I’m so proud of us! How do you feel? Have you ever wondered or heard about sex before? Do you have other questions or thoughts you’d like to share?
If the topic of sex makes you uncomfortable that’s ok! It is awkward because you’re not ready for it yet! God designed sex for a special, sacred and bonding experience in marriage. So since you’re not married yet- it may sound weird. God doesn’t want us to have this kind of relationship with someone outside of marriage. But in marriage- it will be a beautiful shared experience that will give you a family one day! It will be an experience that not only brings you together physically but fuses your souls and hearts together- creating a new life.
That’s one of the big reasons a husband and wife bond is so special! And one day you too will be married. You don’t know who your future spouse is yet! But one day you will both meet and form a friendship first. You’ll get to know each other more, grow in love, get married and even make love, have sex, one day creating your very own family. It really is something to look forward to. And while the idea may seem strange right now- in God’s timing- it won’t feel strange. When you live life God’s way- it will be a natural and beautiful experience!
As you get older you may have more questions. Please always come to us. We can always talk about anything!! Even if it's awkward or uncomfortable- just like we did today! It’s important to remember that your peers, the internet, even teachers are not the place to learn about sex. The best place is in the home with your parents who created you. We love you and God loves you and wants the best life for you. So whatever questions you have as you grow up- you can always ask us ANYTHING! :) If today proves anything- it proves that if we can talk together about sex- we can share together about anything!
DISCUSSION
Discuss any or all of the questions in any order. Parents, listen to your child first, then share your experiences and wisdom.
How do you feel right now?
What is something new you learned?
Do you have any other questions?
CONCLUSION
Today we had a very special conversation together. We learned about God’s design for multiplication in the family. We learned what sex is and that it’s a holy and beautiful act of sharing love between a husband and a wife that can create a new life! We finally understand how the sperm gets to the egg and where babies come from! And we can more deeply understand why our private parts are so holy and special and should be protected like a special treasure until marriage.
PRAYER
Dear God, thank you for creating me! Today we learned just how special it was to be created. We are so grateful for life, love and lineage. Please help us to mature physically and spiritually into amazing sons and daughters of you God- so we can one day become a good spouse in our future marriage and create a family of our own.
Use these activities together with your child today and over the next month to create ongoing conversations. Click on the links:
VIDEOS
Created by School of Love:
Additional SOL Videos:
Created by Don’t Memorise
CRAFTS
DIY PUZZLE: Draw a picture of what your future life will look like! It can be one big picture or many. You can use words and drawings, whatever you like! Ideally using cardstock or laminating your final piece. Then cut it out into several puzzle pieces and put it together! This puzzle can remind you of God’s beautiful plan for your life!
JOURNAL: Draw or write in your journal about what sex is to you or what you learned today. You can make a cartoon about a sperm reaching an egg like in the animation we saw. Or anything else you’d like. This will be a good keepsake to look back upon or use as an icebreaker in the future for more discussions on sex.
GAMES
CHARADES: Play a game that may make you feel awkward, like charades for example. Laugh, let loose and have fun together! Remember sometimes life is awkward and it’s totally okay when you have family to go through it with!
EXPERIENCES
Question or sharing journal- A space where kids can write what they are feeling or questions they have if they are to embarrassed or scared and parents can write back. This is also great if a parent is absent a lot for whatever the reason.
PHOTOS: Go down memory lane. Sharing photos together. Baby photos, wedding photos. Or look at your family tree together. Be reminded how all of your ancestors and your lineage and family was created in love! See sex isn’t all that awkward! ;)
Additional Scriptures
“In all creation, the most precious entities are human beings – men and women. Furthermore, the most precious part of the human body is not the nose, the eyes, the hands, or even the brain. It is the sexual organs, the main organs of love. Everything in the universe can be recreated through the sexual parts.
- Sun Myung Moon
“There are two kinds of sexual organs: male and female. God originally divided the sexual organ into two, creating a little distance, so that their drawing together and meeting would be like an explosion. This is where the stimulating excitement would take place. This is what God wanted. Why were we given sexual organs? Because of Life, Love, Lineage and Conscience. Without going through that particular organ we cannot expect to have Life, Love, Lineage and Conscience.
-Sun Myung Moon
“Let's look at how we were born biologically. Out of millions of sperm, only one reaches the egg cell. Still, each sperm has to head in the proper general direction in order for at least one to reach the goal. If their direction is off, will they ever reach their destination? So even before you were conceived, something must have been heading in the right direction.”
- Sun Myung Moon
God created the universe in order to fulfill the expression of love. All beings desire the experience of true love through a mutual relationship. Love is the one power in the universe that absolutely no one can possess by himself. Once we have a partner, however, love gives us the power to share the entire universe. Likewise, a husband and wife need children in order to experience the profound joy of parental love.
- Sun Myung Moon
“Love is the motive for your birth. You were born by the motive of love as a resultant being of love. Is that right? Thus, man is to be born and to be loved by his mother and father. Then, why do your mother and father love you? Why do even birds or animals love their young? It is because they all were born as testifiers to love.”
- Sun Myung Moon
PARENT RESOURCES
How The Danish Talk About Sex To Their Kids And What We Can Learn From Them
SOL “The Talk” Parent Blog- coming soon
ACTION STEPS:
The next day- check in with your child. Just ask them how they’re feeling. And tell them how proud you are to have shared a special talk with them yesterday. Remind them you're always here as more questions come up.
About a week later- check in with your child again- bring up the conversation and ask if they’ve thought more about it or have any more questions. Remind them you are always a safe space for ANY conversation.
Love on TV- when kissing comes up in shows or movies- remind your child that they’ll share special kisses with their future spouse one day. Explain that while not everyone in the world saves all of themselves for their future marriage- it’s the most beautiful & best way to live God’s design for life.
Pornography- Make sure to sit down and share about “Good Pictures and Bad Pictures” so your child knows sex is not appropriate to watch at any time in our life! Whether you’re a kid, a teen, an adult or married. It’s never appropriate. God made you to have sex and see sex only with your spouse. Here’s a lesson for this conversation: "Protect My Eyes"
